(In a studio called the Joe smiley show the anchors and the crewman are getting ready for the show in five minutes)

Joe: I am glad you could be here for the interview Rufus.

Rufus: Me too.

Joe: Who's this Rufus?( Joe points to a big buff man in a tuxedo with glasses)

Rufus: Oh that’s my bodyguard named Phil. He was the toughest FBI agent around but quit to work and guard me.

Joe: What’s up Phil?

(Phil pantomimes spitting on Joe’s shoe)

Rufus: He doesn’t talk much.

(Phil cracks his knuckles)

Rufus: Easy boy.

Intercom: 2 minutes people!

Joe: Lets get into positions people!

Intercom:( Once everyone is set into their positions) We're on in 5-4-3- ______!

  

JOE: Welcome to the Joe Smiley Show! Today we have a fantastic young guest, who has used his fantastic young brain to become a millionaire! Meet Rufus Mayflower of East Cleveland, Ohio. (to Rufus) Welcome, Rufus! 

 

Rufus: Thank you Mr. Smiley.

  

JOE: Now, Rufus, my first question is one that I know everyone want’s to ask. How did you figure out how to make so much money?

 

 Rufus: Well, I wasn’t trying to make money, just toothpaste.

  

 JOE: All right, Rufus. What gave you that brilliant idea?

 

Rufus: It all started when I was doing some shopping at the Cut Rate Drugstore with my friend Kate.

 

(Kate comes out. They pantomime shopping, while Rufus uses his list.)

  

Rufus: Now, let’s see. I need toothpaste.

  

KATE: Here it is. (Pretends to hand Rufus the tube.)

  

Rufus: One dollar and thirty nine cents for a six inch tube of toothpaste? That’s crazy!

  

KATE: It’s better than this other one for a dollar and eighty-nine cents.

 

Rufus: That’s even crazier! What can be in those tubes anyway? Just some peppermint flavoring and some paste.

 

KATE: Maybe that paste is expensive to make.

 

Rufus: Who knows? I never tried, but I bet it isn’t hard. Put that tube back.

 

KATE: But Rufus, your mother said to get toothpaste. You can’t help it if it’s expensive.

 

Rufus: I’ll make her some. I bet I can make her a gallon for less than a dollar.

 

JOE: Fantastic! I suppose you stayed up day and night creating your secret formula.

 

Rufus: No, I just used some stuff anybody can buy for a few cents and mix up in a few minutes. The main ingredient was plain old baking soda.

 

Joe: Well Rufus we can't wait to hear all about how you first made Toothpaste, but first we have a surprise guest here to tell us a bit more about how it all started. Please welcome to the stage Mrs. Cheryl Mayflower, Rufus' very own mother.  

(Mrs. Mayflower comes on stage with Joe Smiley for an to be interviewed.)

 

 Joe Smiley:  Mrs. Mayflower, what do you think about your son’s toothpaste?

 

Mrs. Mayflower: I was shocked to learn that he had made toothpaste in stead of buying it, and I was nervous to try it, but when I did, my teeth had never been cleaner, and they smelled minty fresh!

 

Joe Smiley:  When you found out that your son was going to start a company what did you think of the idea?

 

Mrs. Mayflower: Well, I must say, I was nervous and disappointed that he had tried to start a business without my permission, but I decided to let him do it, and as you can see, he is very successful!

 

Joe Smiley: Thanks so much for coming Mrs. Mayflower, and for allowing us to meet your son.

  

JOE: (Speaking to Rufus again)Now Rufus...What happened next?

  

Rufus: The next morning, Kate stopped by on the way to school.

 

(She walks to the long table and sees Rufus there)

  

Kate: What are you making?

 

Rufus: I already made it!

  

Kate: Ewww! That is disgusting.

  

Dog: (Dog wants the paste so he jumps on the table and knocks the peppermint oil into the paste) Bark! Bark! Bark!

 

Rufus: (pepper mint oil and paste mix.) Oh no! Why did she do that?

 

Kate: Bad dog!

 

Dog: Whimper.

 

Kate: I think she wanted to eat the paste.

 

(Kate and Rufus clean up.)

 

Rufus: (Licks his finger.) Hey you know ... this doesn't taste too bad. What did Max knock over when she jumped on the table?

 

Kate: Let me try some. (Tries some.) Mmm this is good.

 

Dog: Whimper.

 

Kate: Here you go Max.

 

Dog:  (Max pantomimes licking a spoon) uuuuuuuhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

Rufus: I think it was the pepper mint oil. That was it. Kate we've made toothpaste. Let’s tell everyone we know c’mon.

 

Kate: Ok

 

(KATE and RUFUS hurry to the bench and sit down. CLEM, JOSIE, LEE LU, JOSH, and SHARON come out and join them. They face Mr. Conti, their math teacher, at the chalkboard.)

 

MR. CONTI: All right, class, take out your math books.

 

(RUFUS passes a note to CLEM, who hands it to JOSIE, who hands it to LEE LU, who hands it to KATE. KATE opens the note. MR. CONTI snatches it before KATE can read it.)

 

MR. CONTI: Kate Mackinstrey, you know there is no note passing in my class. You also know the procedure: One card flip for all the note passers, or I read the note to the class. You have five seconds to decide what to do.

 

(KATE, RUFUS, CLEM, JOSIE, LEE LU, JOSH, and SHARON whisper to each other)

 

KATE: Okay, you read the note Mr. Conti.

 

MR. CONTI: (reading) There are about 226 million people in the United States. Each one buys about ten tubes of toothpaste a year. That’s two billion two-hundred-sixty million tubes a year! If an inventor made new toothpaste, sold only one billion tubes, and made a one-cent profit on each tube, how much would he make?(looking up) Well, class, how would you figure this out? You know, this is a perfect time to practice decimal multiplication.

 

Clem: You would have to take out one billion times one cent or .01. That comes out to…

 

All : 10 million dollars!

 

ALL: That’s ten million dollars!

 

Aidan: Wowee wowee wow!

 

SHARON: That’s a lot of money!

 

MR. CONTI: See me after class, note-passers.

 

(RUFUS goes back to the “classroom” with his friends and goes to MR. CONTI’s  desk.)

 

MR. CONTI: Thank you for staying.

 

RUFUS: Are we in trouble for passing notes?

 

MR: CONTI: No, I just wanted to give all of you a sparkle for giving me a chance to let the students practice their decimal multiplication.

 

ALL: Thank you Mr. Conti!

 

(KATE, RUFUS, and all their friends meet outside the grocery store to decide who’s going to go in to refresh their supplies.)

RUFUS: Hey guys would you mind to pick up some supplies before we show you how to make toothpaste? 

 

KATE: First of all, who wants to go to buy the stuff?

 

(Aidan, SHARON, and RUFUS all raise their hands.)

 

KATE: Ok, since we need Rufus, Josh and Sharon can go.

 

(KATE holds out the shopping list. JOSH and SHARON take it and push a shopping cart into the store.)

 

AIDAN: Okay, Sharon, you be in charge of the list. I’ll handle getting the stuff.

 

SHARON: Okay, the first thing we need is peppermint oil.

 

AIDAN: Got it.

 

SHARON: Baking soda?

 

AIDAN: Check.

 

SHARON:Glycerine.

 

AIDAN: Check.

 

SHARON:Hydrogen peroxide.

 

AIDAN: Have it.

 

SHARON: Salt.

 

AIDAN: check.

 

SHARON: There’s nothing else on this list! This seems like it could be tricky to make!

 

(AIDANand SHARON walk over to the CASHIER’S counter.)

 

AIDAN: Hi, we would like to check out.

 

CASHIER: Okay.

 

(The CASHIER pantomimes checking out the items.)

 

 CASHIER: Excuse me, but I couldn’t help noticing how strange these items are... Are you in the toothpaste business or something?

 

AIDAN: Wow, how did you know? We're not, but our friend is. Would you like to buy some? Only three cents a bottle.

 

CASHIER: You know I think I'd like to see what you kids have done, I'll buy some. In fact, I’ll take two.

 

AIDAN: We'll deliver it just as soon as we make it. Pleasure doing business with you.

 

(They purchase each other’s items and AIDANand SHARON walk out of the store.) 

 

(AIDANand SHARON start back to RUFUS’S house.)

 

AIDAN: You know, I am excited to learn how all of this stuff goes together.

 

SHARON: I know! It’s incredible!

 

JOSH: Well, we’re here.

 

(Rufus goes back to sit with Joe)

 

Rufus: I decided to call it Toothpaste.

 

JOE: Not Sparkle or Shine?

 

Rufus: No. Just plain toothpaste. Kate and I packed it into sterilized baby jars, and we delivered them to customers on our bikes.

 

JOE: How much did you charge?

 

Rufus: It cost me two cents to make, so I charged three cents unless I had to mail it somewhere out of town. Then I included postage. In a couple of months, I had so many customers that my math class had to help me out. ( Goes back to friends, all sitting around a large table)

 

Clem: Rufus, what would you do if you had to pay us to do all this work?

 

Josie: We spend hours washing baby jars and filling them with Toothpaste.

 

Rufus: I don’t have any profits yet. I’ve got to use the money I’m making to buy more stuff for toothpaste. But I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you stock in my company.

 

Clem: Stock? What good is that?

 

Rufus: At the end of the year, every stock holder will get a share of the year’s profits.

 

KATE: Like in that game you have called “Stock Market”?

 

Rufus: Right. Anybody who puts in a hundred hours helping me make Toothpaste gets a stock certificate, which will entitle him or her to a share of the company’s profits. I’ll use the stock certificates from my game.

 

KATE: Well I’ve already worked more than two hundred hours.

 

Rufus: So you are the first stock holder. (Rufus returns to Joe)

 

JOE: This is mind boggling. What happened next?

 

Rufus: The next part of the story belongs to Kate.

 

(Kate talks to the gang)

 

KATE: You know, I wish we had real tubes instead of these baby jars.

 

LEE LU: It sure would look better.  

 

CLEM: I bet they’d be expensive even if you could find some.

 

KATE: I’m going to start looking around. (She looks at her watch.) Oh, oh, I have to get home for supper. See you tomorrow.

 

(James enters with news paper)

KATE: Hi James. Where’s dinner?

 

JAMES: Can’t you see I’m reading the paper Kate! Supper’s in the fridge.

 

KATE: What! Didn’t mom make it!! You know, you’re older, you should make it.

 

JAMES: Argh! I always do it. Why don't you do it for once.

(Kate Shakes her head no, James finally gives up and goes to make dinner. Kate picks up his paper.) 

KATE: James, I’m looking for an advertisement for something that we can store toothpaste in, but I’m trying find something that looks better than sterilized baby jars!

 

JAMES: Whatever Kate. (Goes backstage and pantomimes cooking)

 

KATE: Hmm… There’s nothing here…

Okay, This might be helpful, it looks like a list of items for sale. Let's see... Complete furnishings of an ice cream parlor…

Ferris wheel swings…15 Laptops… I found it! 50 gross aluminum tubes!

 

JAMES: Stop all that ruckus Kate! Your driving me NUTS!

 

KATE: Look, I found an ad for aluminum tubes. Where do I get it?

 

JAMES: Kate don’t you know! (James takes the paper)You get it an auction!

 

KATE: Where?

 

JAMES: Let’s see…  It says it’s at the Pulaski Brother’s

warehouse down the street.

 

KATE: Okay then, off I go. Bye James.

 

JAMES: (SHOUTS) Kate, mom’s going to get mad if you use up all your allowance!

 

KATE: Whatever James! (Leaves for auction)

 

JAMES: Ugh! Why have I just cooked this food? 

 

(Kate goes to auction with customers and auctioneer.)

 

AUCTIONEER: Item number 76: aluminum tubes, 50 gross. How much am I bid by the gross? Bidder takes the lot.

 

KATE: How much is a gross? I can’t remember. Let’s see 50 dozen is 600 and that’s already a lot. (to Auctioneer) Excuse me sir. Can I just bid on a couple of dozen?

 

AUCTIONEER: The bid is for the whole lot. Who’ll bid five cents a gross?

 

CUSTOMER#1: Five cents!

 

KATE: Six cents!

 

CUSTOMER#2: Seven cents!

 

KATE: Eight! We really need those tubes.

 

AUCTIONEER: Anyone for nine?

 

KATE: TEN!

 

CUSTOMER#1: I give up.

 

CUSTOMER #2: Me, too.

 

AUCTIONEER: Sold to the lady for ten cents a gross.

 

KATE: Oh, well, I guess we’ll use up six hundred tubes.

 

CUSTOMER #3:Six hundred? You just bought seven thousand two hundred tubes.

 

KATE: Seven thousand two hundred!

 

(Kate goes back to classmates)

 

KATE: I forgot that a gross is a dozen dozen. Twelve times twelve times fifty is what I bought.

 

Lee Lu: Isn’t there some kind of machine for filling tubes?

 

CLEM: What about the place that all those tubes came from?

 

KATE: Let’s see if there’s a name on the box... Happy Lips Lotion Company. I am going to the Happy Lips Lotion Company to check it out.

 

(Hector comes out on stage with machine)

 

HECTOR: Can I help you?

 

KATE: No thank you. I’m just looking.

 

HECTOR: Oh?

 

KATE: For a machine. I have a friend who needs a certain kind of machine for filling toothpaste tubes.

 

HECTOR: Did you say toothpaste tubes?

 

KATE: Like this. (Shows Hector tubes.)

 

HECTOR: Oh. Sure, that’s the Number 5 aluminum round-end.

 

KATE: Are you in the toothpaste business?

 

HECTOR: No. I was a mechanic for the Happy Lips Lotion Company. Is your friend in the toothpaste business?

 

KATE: Yes. Is there a tube filling machine still in there?

 

HECTOR: Is there! It’s the most beautiful piece of machinery you ever saw. The Happy Lips Lotion Company owed the owner of the building so much rent that they had to leave him this machine.The owner is paying me a small salary to keep an eye on the factory.

 

KATE: It looks like a wonderful machine.

 

HECTOR: Yes, ma’am. If your friend rented the place and hired me to look after the machinery, we could be in full production tomorrow. Have you got a lot of orders?

 

KATE: More than five thousand.

 

HECTOR: Do you think you can swing it? The rent’s about three hundred dollars a month.

 

KATE: The rent? Oh. I forgot about that. And how much would you want, Hector?

 

HECTOR: I was getting about eight dollars an hour from Happy Lips. I guess that much would be fine.

 

KATE: Hmm. I think we better have a stockholders’ meeting.

 

(Back to Rufus and Joe)

 

Rufus: So we all got together and discussed it. By now we had a lot of other kids working with us, too.

 

(Classmates join Rufus)

 

Rufus: Let’s see, I’d say we need about $15,000.

 

Josie:{to all the members of the class}”I don't know Rufus, I think we need $16,000”{sixteen thousand dollars.}

 

 LEE LU: Well, where do we get that? Just walk into a bank and ask for it?

 

Aidan: Maybe

 

Clem: Yeah, Remember that commercial about that really nice bank?

 

Sharon: Oh yeah, Everybody’s Friendly Bank. They give money to everybody.

 

Kate: Rufus and I will just go on down to the bank and ask for the money.

 

Rufus: Why not? Isn’t that what other business people do? We’ll just go down to Everybody’s Friendly Bank and borrow the money!

 

Aidan:{to Rufus}”It’s not going to be easy, but good luck anyway.”     

 

(Perkell and Secretary come out)

 

SECRETARY: May I help you?

 

Rufus: Yes, we’d like to see Mr. Perkell, the vice president, please.

 

SECRETARY: I’m sorry, Mr. Perkell has an appointment at four o’clock.

 

Rufus: I know. My name is Rufus Mayflower, and I’m Mr. Perkell’s appointment.

 

SECRETARY: You’re Mr. Mayflower?

 

PERKELL: Hello, what can I do for you?

 

Rufus: You can lend us money for the business I’m starting. I have a product called Toothpaste.

 

PERKELL: Ah, yes, I’ve heard of you. Just plain toothpaste, the kind that get’s your teeth clean.

 

KATE: That’s us! Can you lend us the money?

 

PERKELL: I’m afraid not.

 

KATE: Why not? Your commercials say you lend money to everybody.

 

PERKELL: Well, not exactly everybody.

 

Rufus: In other words, not kids.

 

(Rufus and Kate go back to Hector.)

 

HECTOR: I can’t believe it! Just because you’re under age they turn you down! We have the machine. We have the product. We can make it big!

 

Rufus: I believe you, Hector. I believe you would even lend me the money if you had it.

 

HECTOR: You bet I would!

 

Rufus: Great! Hector, you can go to Mr. Perkell and ask her to lend you the money.

 

HECTOR: Me?

 

Rufus: I’ll hire you as manager of the toothpaste factory. The money you borrow will be used to pay your first year’s salary, to pay the rent, and to buy more tubes. I’ll also give you shares of stock in the company.

 

HECTOR: You mean I’d own part of the business? That would be beautiful!

 

(Rufus goes back to Joe)

 

JOE: Absolutely fantastic! Did you get the money?

 

Rufus: We sure did. Then we had to find more customers. So we decided to advertise. My friend Josie had a movie camera, so we all got together and decided to create the Absolutely Honest Commercial. We had to find a good place to film, so we asked my principal Mrs. Liemer.

 

Joe: Funny you should mention that Rufus, we called your school and invited your principal, Mrs. Liemer. We thought it would be great if we spoke to her on to the show!

 

Mrs. Liemer: Taa Daa! (Enters stage comes to where Rufus is sitting and clearly expects Rufus to give up her seat. Rufus reluctantly gives up her seat.)

 

Rufus: Uhh… h-hi Mrs. Liemer. (Nervous, not sure why Mrs. Liemer is here)

 

Joe: Hello! Welcome, welcome to the Joe Smiley show! … Now-

 

Mrs. Liemer: (Laughs) Now! I bet you want to want to know how I invented Toothpaste… Don’t you?

 

Joe: (searches through his notes) Uh... Mrs. Liemer? Didn’t Rufus invent toothpaste?

 

Mr. Liemer: Oh… Uh, Of course not! He just came up with most of the ideas… and gathered the students to work… and found the factory. But I did most of the hard work.       

 

Rufus: Well… she did sort of help by-

 

Mr. Liemer: Of course. I did all--- I mean most of it. See Joe?!

 

Joe: Um… (Smiles at the audience) Le- lets just get on with the interview. Uh… Mrs. Liemer! It was wonderful having you! Erm… have a pleasant afternoon. The doors are on your right. Now… (Smiles nervously)

 

Mrs. Liemer: (Security pushes her away, comes from the side of the stage) But - I’m NOT finished! I thought this is a whole interview!

 

Security: Sorry ma’am. (Continues to push her away)

 

JOE: Sorry about that... She seemed like such a nice woman over the phone. I believe you were about to tell us about how you filmed your commercial.

 

(CLEM, Josie, Kate, and Lee LU move center stage. Lee Lu is on her knees pantomiming shooting with a movie camera.  )

 

LEE LU: Okay, action!

 

CLEM: No fancy names.

 

JOSIE: No fancy promises.

 

KATE: All toothpaste claims to do is clean your teeth.

 

CLEM: We make it as cheaply as possible so we don’t have to charge you very much.

 

KATE: That’s why Toothpaste comes in a plain cardboard box. All to keep the prices low.

 

JOSIE: We only make a one cent profit on a tube, but we think it does the job as well as the more expensive kinds.

 

Lee Lu: CUT!

 

 

JOE: How big is the business now?

 

Rufus: Let’s put it this way. We had to order three more machines and hire ten people to work full time.

 

Joe Smiley: Wow Rufus that’s Fantastic! Making a million dollars with toothpaste. I guess you really are a toothpaste millionaire. So Rufus I’m just guessing since you made so much money you probably have some more ideas up your sleeve?

 

Rufus: Well when I was in my lab trying to make a fluoride rinse my ingredients didn’t really go together so it kind of fizzed up and made a little explosion.

 

Joe Smiley: Well Rufus,  I’m so sorry that happened.

 

Rufus: Well it wasn’t a total loss

 

Joe Smiley: What do you mean?

(Joe says curiously)

 

Rufus: You see when I looked closely into the tube I saw a little blue ball shaped object. So I tried it. It turns out that it had all the same ingredients of  my tooth paste product except it had turned into a kind of gum.

 

Joe Smiley:Wow! That’s Fantastic. A piece of gum that cleans your teeth.

 

Rufus: Perhaps you would like to try a piece of it Joe

(holds out a piece of gum to student playing Joe)

(Joe takes the piece of gum and chews)

 Rufus: Now smile! I just wanted to be able to say I put the Smile in Joe Smiley.

(Joe smiles)

 Joe Smiley: Wow my teeth are really shiny. So what do you call this?

 

Rufus: I call it gum paste!

 

Joe Smiley: Ladies and gentlemen, Isn’t he fantastic?!?!!